The Blog of The Letter B Photography

All Free Things Must Come To An End

2010-09-18T08:17:00.000-07:00

But don't worry.........you can still follow along with our shenanigans at:

www.theletterbphotography.com/blog

Nora | Los Angeles Birth Photographer

2010-09-15T17:37:00.000-07:00

I cannot WAIT to blog the rest of this amazing story. Welcome to the world little Nora!

Sevilla | Los Angeles Newborn Photographer

2010-08-28T18:43:00.000-07:00

Lamont Family | South Dakota Family Photographer

2010-08-23T15:48:00.000-07:00

This one is my favorite shot from the day.

DIY: Burp Cloth

2010-08-08T15:21:00.000-07:00

While pursuing all things baby at our local mega-baby store, I spied these amazingly cute burp cloths...........and then I spied their amazingly inflated price tag.

My thrifty nature rebelled against such ridiculous expense and so, upon closer inspection, I determined that these could be easily crafted by even a super novice seamstress such as myself.

And I mean novice.

So, what you need is:

1.) 1 pack of prefold cloth diapers. You could use the 3 ply but I decided to go the super absorbency route and grabbed the 6 ply.
2.) Random pieces of medium sized scrap material you have lying around
3.) Coordinating thread color or just plain ol' white
4.) Sewing machine with a standard zigzag stitch
5.) Iron

I start out by flipping the wrong side of the fabric up and ironing. This will make the following steps much easier and "cleaner".

Measure the middle section of the cloth diaper and then pad each side by an additional inch. Mine measured 7" x 20.5".

Trace your measurements out on the back of the fabric and cut.

Fold and iron an inch seam all the way around the fabric. Then fit the correct-side-up fabric over the middle section of the diaper and line up with the existing seam.

Pin the edges down to hold everything in place for sewing.

It's now time to sew, sew, sew!

I start on one of the shortest edges and then sew all the way around the fabric - essentially tracing a large rectangle.

You'll finish back where you started.

The zigzag stitch should overlap the edge of your fabric onto the cloth diaper.

And you're done!

Now make a few more (or 12 in my case) and go celebrate with a victory Diet Coke while dreaming of the babies that will someday soon be puking all over you and your designer burp cloths.

Saturdays with Sherman

2010-08-07T10:19:00.000-07:00

Times.......they are ah-changin'.

Steven + Charissa | Los Angeles Maternity Photography

2010-08-03T15:05:00.000-07:00

Dave and Teresa | Los Angeles Maternity Photography

2010-07-26T18:02:00.000-07:00

Steven + Charissa | Los Angeles Maternity Photography

2010-07-25T20:20:00.000-07:00

Love this family.

Dave and Teresa | Los Angeles Maternity Photography

2010-07-18T11:25:00.000-07:00

Despite it being just over 100 degrees and asked to endure dry and itchy (but beautiful) wheat grass..........these two brought it.

All for the sake of baby Nolan's maternity photos.

More fun ahead.

Courtney Part 2 | Los Angeles Senior Photographer

2010-07-09T17:52:00.000-07:00

Satur.........Sunday with Sherman

2010-07-04T09:50:00.000-07:00

It's all fun and games until someone starts on fire because they're made of cotton, which happens to be a highly flammable material.

Happy 4th of July!

Courtney | Los Angeles Senior Photographer

2010-06-27T22:42:00.000-07:00

Saturdays with Sherman

2010-06-19T11:48:00.000-07:00

When you said you wanted me to teach you how to change a diaper, this isn't exactly what I had in mind.............

Summer Lovin'

2010-06-11T18:45:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! IT'S SUMMER TIME! Which happens to be our first favorite season of the year right after Fall and Spring! Summer means it's time for the beach, BBQ, BBQ at the beach and Kool-Aid mustaches!

It's also a great time for shameless plugs so book your summer sessions now, now, now!!! The weather in SoCal can't be beat and there's a ton of great locations to choose from; the park, your backyard or old town Pasadena!!......did we mention beach BBQ shoots with Kool-Aid moustaches? Just in case we didn't, they are available as well for a limited time only.

We currently have a great sales promotion running now until the end of July so put the pedal to the metal and book that appointment before they fill up!

Saturdays with Sherman

2010-05-29T15:21:00.000-07:00

8 seconds!

Into the Desert - SoCal Roadtrip Part 2

2010-05-25T17:20:00.000-07:00

Jade and I went on a trip a few months ago and have only gotten around to posting photos from the first half of it. I want to apologize. I'm sure you've all been sitting on the edge of your seat, biting your fingernails, hitting the refresh button for the past thirteen hundred hours, afraid to go to the bathroom because you might miss the big moment, the grand unveiling, the season finale.

Well fear not. It is here, finally; part deuce of our trip down south. Let us begin with a short haiku about the Salton Sea:

It smells like fish butthole
Is that bad?
Unless you're highly disturbed, yes.

We pull up to the Salton Sea and see salty swans fly over our sea shored sands....actually, they were pelicans and actually, there was no sand. IN FACT, as I opened my door and lowered my foot to the ground, towards the "sand" I heard a small crunch and, as I looked down, I realized that the shore of the beach was made up of nothing more than thousands and thousands of crushed fish bones that have been washed up over a possible millenia.

It was disturbing, yes; disgusting, you betchya; slightly morbid? Yes, I can get behind that as well. Clementine leapt from the car and started rolling on it, getting the fragile bones tangled up in her short fur, covering herself in sandy fish skin particles. I gag and look to my left.

Kaidance is chewing on a fish head.

I puke.

Jade tells me to sit down with the dogs for a photo. I tell her that I would rather die. I tell her that I would LITERALLY rather die. I would rather have one of those stupid pelicans swoop down from the sky and pluck my eyes right out of my head then sit down on dried fish guts. I say, "Are you serious? Are you crazy? I mean, fer real? Are you cuh-RAZY?"

Jade rolls her eyes and says, quote, "Stop being a sissy". I change the subject and say, "Hey, look, a golf ball." I throw it and when it hits the ground / mass grave, "dust" explodes and the wind picks it up and it blows on me and I hold my breath and start looking around for incoming pelicans.

Can you imagine what a million dead fish smells like? Have you ever tried not flushing your toilet all day to conserve water? Have you ever pulled the lid off of something that 's been in your fridge, forgotten, for months? Have you ever had an elephant accidentally sit on you and inadvertently suck you up into his massive bung? Have you ever done all three of these things in one single second and then been forced to breathe that magical essence in for an hour?

I looked across Bone Beach and across the sea / mossy, foamy, green, brown body of liquid waste and saw houses....er......"houses"......Mainly I saw mobile homes.

Of course.

Finally we'd all had our fill (Kaidance after six fish heads and some crusty fins) and decided to make like an apple tree and get outta there. We coasted gently through the trailer park, examining the fine lawn art (sadly, not pictured), the 4-wheelers for sale, and the exemplary craftsmanship someone had performed while attaching a deck to the top of their double wide. We smiled and waved at the inhabitants, unsure if they spoke our language, unsure if they'd ever seen a human with over six teeth and then, rounding the corner, we found a Dead End sign and I was sure we'd had it. The degenerates, the monsters that called this place home had trapped us. I was positive I'd be turning around only to find a crowd of limping, hunchbacked, underdeveloped Cro-Magnums lumbering toward me with rocks and sticks held high.

No. Nothing. We left, outwardly unscathed, inwardly scarred for life.

After leaving a place like that, you can't help but want to find the nearest watering hole to rinse your dry and dusty mouth out. You need to find a gas station to rinse your filthy, flaky skin off. You need some iron wool, a hot steam gun and some sort of scrapey tool to get truly clean.

Alas, we were in the desert and had none of this. We slept in our filth. We ate with it's stench clinging to us.

We were becoming hobos, traveling vagrants. The transformation had begun.

We traveled on to the nearest town (pictured below), which was pretty much a bust.

We drove on some more to the NEXT town, which definitely had more buildings, although they all seemed to have been emptied and abandoned long ago, say.......1962.....

We drove on and found ANOTHER mobile home park. We coasted around in it for a bit, hoping to see something remarkable. We found that most of the inhabitants decide to leave their Christmas lights / ornaments up year round, probably for simplicity's sake. What with all the drugs they're undoubtedly cooking in their bathtubs, they probably don't have any time left to deal with menial things like front yards.

Jade takes a picture of their post office and then we dart out of town before nightfall, before we would surely be raped and eaten by The Imbreds.

In the morning, civilization......

.....sort of......

We park in the McDonald's lot, brush our teeth, order breakfast and go to...........I turn to Jade and ask, "Where, exactly, are we going now?" I tell her, "I've sort of had my fill of trailer parks". She nods and agrees, pulls out her eye-phone and does a search for "Things to do at Salton Sea". A moment passes before she says, "We could go see Jesus Mountain".

She doesn't have to explain what it is. I am sold.

A man who's name I can't remember started building Salvation Mountain in a year I can't recall and he's been at it ever since. People donate paint to him and he just covers this mountain in it. He paints it different colors and he paints different phrases about love and salvation and peace and people can come see it and it's free and crazy.

The mountain is hollowed out and painted inside as well. It is one enormous piece of art.

We researched it and found that a number of organizations have offered to pay this man money. They've offered him large sums of cash to fund his project. They would pay for the paint and let him go nuts, just as he already has.

...the only catch is that these groups would like him to rope in the message a little bit. They'd like him to explain that God's love isn't EXACTLY for everyone. They'd like him to say that it's not for gay people and most sinners.

He kindly declined their offer and went on painting his message of free love and I applaud him for that.

Lots of people are probably concerned about the environment when they hear that a guy has poured over 2,000 gallons of paint on this little mountain but.......I don't know........I'm not a scientist but it seems that.......the area is pretty much just dirt.........and.........uh.......more dirt....

"Into the Wild" is a book about Christopher McCandless, a young boy who later adopted the moniker Alexander Supertramp. It's a true story and is based on the tales of an over-enthusiastic young man with ideals of freedom. He comes from a rich family and decides that money can't buy happiness. He burns his ID and his money and heads out into the wilderness. He abandons his car and carries only what he can on his back. He is a wanderer, an explorer and a true vagabond.

At some point on his journey to Alaska (his goal) he stops in a little place called Slab City in southern California and by Jove, we stumbled right across it by accident on our way to Salvation Mountain!!

Slab City is "The Last Free Place on Earth". There are no laws but there is no crime. It is the officially unofficial gathering place of all things free; people or families escaping the bend of life. They come here and they exist. They live in trailer homes and RVs and tents. They sell things to one another, books, food and art work. There is a church and a talent show and some of the homes are even strictly solar powered.

The area is about 3-5 blocks long and looks like it houses several hundred locals.

We, however, would not be staying......not yet......but someday......someday we'll be back and we'll spend the night in Slab City. But tonight......tonight we had to get home because the world was calling and beckoning to us. It was Sunday and we had to work the following morning.

We found this weird sign next to the salty river that leads into the Salton Sea. I don't totally get it but I don't totally NOT get it, either, which is sort of strange.

There was no vehicle, so I guess it was okay to be there, taking pictures of their.....yard?....

SO THERE YA HAVE IT LADIES AND GERMS!! From sand dunes to the salty dudes; Salton Sea to Salvation Mountain and from trailer park to trailer park, this was an official adventure but now it's over.

You may return to your regularly scheduled programming.

Hannah Part 2 | Sherman Oaks Baby Photographer

2010-05-17T16:58:00.000-07:00

Saturdays with Sherman

2010-05-15T16:40:00.000-07:00

Looks like I'm eatin' for two. BRING ME THE BANANA PUDDING!

Evan Part 2 | Los Angeles Children's Photographer

2010-05-12T09:29:00.000-07:00

Morgan Part 2 | Los Angeles Children Photography

2010-05-04T08:32:00.000-07:00

Hannah | Sherman Oaks Baby Photographer

2010-05-01T14:34:00.000-07:00

Saturdays with Sherman

2010-04-24T15:38:00.000-07:00

If you hold this photo really close to your face and look at it crosseyed and then slowly pull it away you will see a monkey hidden in the flowers.

Morgan and Evan | Los Angeles Children's Photographer

2010-04-22T19:57:00.000-07:00

Sorry folks, we're horribly behind on blogging these days. Here's a couple of quick previews of more fun ahead..........

Saturdays with Sherman

2010-04-17T21:41:00.000-07:00

Boy, I sure am tired after my long hike.........lucky I was carrying this chair around with me.

Happy 1st Birthday

2010-04-17T15:18:00.000-07:00

Remember little Emma?

Well, she's not so little anymore.

Happy 1st Birthday little lady!

Saturdays with Sherman

2010-04-10T13:52:00.000-07:00

I went to the doctor and guess what he said?

Into the Desert - SoCal Roadtrip Part 1

2010-04-03T16:47:00.000-07:00

As of March 26, 2010, Jade and I have been married for five years. Had I told you this in an actual conversation, face to face, you would be inclined to say, "Oh, wow. Congratulations".

I don't know why but that makes me really uncomfortable. I don't like it when people tell me "Congratulations". It's not that I have a problem with face to face approval. I actually love and thrive on attention and compliments. It's the ACTUAL word. Con-gra-choo-lay-shunzzzzzz.

ick.

SO! Five years.....we need to go on a VACATION!!!
I head into work at 7am in order to get off at 3pm so we can get a few extra hours on the road. By the time I get home, pack the car, buy coffee, buy some extra bedding, purchase dog leashes and get gas, it is 6pm and we are stuck in rush hour traffic.

Below you'll see a picture of me and behind me you'll take note of the freeway. You should also know that we're in the United States and the steering wheel is on the left side of the car. Also notice that I am on the right side of the car. Deductive reasoning leaves us to believe that Jade is driving down the freeway, taking pictures of me.

Hey, there's only laws about not using your cell phone while you drive. It doesn't say anything about using a camera, razor or newspaper.
We discussed a few different destinations over the course of the previous months. We talked about Canada and we talked about Tijuana, Mexico. We talked about Denver and we talked about Catalina Island. We talked about Yosemite and we talked about Yellowstone but finally, finally, finally, a week before going, we decided that since we only had two and a half days that we'd just head South towards Joshua Tree National Park and The Salton Sea.

Joshua Tree is where U2 stayed while writing their eponymous album. It is a desert wonderland filled with rocks, cactus and......Joshua Trees. Joshua Trees basically resemble mutant cacti crossbred with something Tim Burton came up with.

The Salton Sea is where meth is made.
The first night we pull into a Pilot's truck stop and snuggle in between two gorillas. Talk about little man complex. I felt like a third grader in the locker room of a YMCA.
In the morning my wife gets up and begins obsessively snapping photos of everything that moves......or doesn't move....

Clementine and I are groggy after a wonderful nights sleep. Kaidance, on the other hand, seems to be a little on edge. There's something in her unblinking, nervous stare and twitching ear that seems to be saying, "If I sleep, the man with the knives for fingers will get me".
I'd tell Clementine to relax but I'm afraid that if she chills out anymore she'd be dead.
Snap, snap, snap. "Dang it". Twist-twist, click. Snap, snap...."Dang it". Click-click. Twist. Whir. Snap.

Jade is holding a camera in front of my face. I can't tell if she's trying to actually take photos or if this is her way of playing "alarm clock".

I hit snooze by ignoring her.
Click. Click. Click. Whir. Snap. "Hehehe"... snap, snap, click...
I whisper into small dog's ear, "Don't move, Clementine. Don't open your eyes....don't even breathe. Trust me. She'll go away. We can milk this for at least another 15."
Click, click, click. "Stupid settings...." beep-boop-beep.... click, click, whir, "hah....oh yes...mymymy"

Clementine whispers, "Do you......do you think Kaidance is.....okay?"

I simply nod and say, "Who do you think taught me to be so lazy?"
Finally, Jade pops open the back hatch, lifts up the front seats and begins rearranging my bedroom, turning it back into a car. She says, "Hey you!" I try my hardest to ignore it. "Hey you! Hey! Hey you three!! Look out here! Lookie-lookie!!"

Kaidance is less than thrilled.
Once we were both up and ready to roll, we went inside and brushed our teeth where I met a hitchhiker.

He said his name was Allan Tinkleman. I fancied his well groomed 'stache....
We travel through the wind turbine fields of Southern California. They are creepy and alien. I believe the fields are filled with spirits and ghosts.

Why?

Because if I were a ghost, that's the place I would haunt and I can't imagine that I'm the first pre-deceased to think of it.

Later on in the day we meet a woman who will talk to us about the "wind turbans" and tell us how they bottle the energy and truck it to Arizona. I assume parts of this story are true.

Whooosh.....whoooosh......whoooosh......
We enter into Joshua Tree National Park, which we are assuming is going to be pretty hot. We pack light because we're vacationing in the desert.

At 10:30 in the morning it was just above fifty degrees and all we had were light flannels. We skip out on the hike where Kaidance would undoubtedly be bit by a scorpion and Clementine would surely be carried off by some sort of bird of prey.

Instead Jade makes me lay down in the dirt, in the rocks and pointy things of the desert. I shut my eyes and say a quick prayer. It goes like this, "God, thank you for blessing me with such a wonderful, beautiful and creative wife. Thank you for the safe journey we've had so far. I just wanted to touch base with you real quick regarding You keeping an eye out for any sort of poisonous insects, plants, etc that I may be about to lay on. Amen."
When we come out of Joshua Tree National Park / Forest / Desert, we find ourselves in Joshua Tree proper - the town. We stop at a place called Joshua Tree Saloon which was next to Joshua Tree gas station, Joshua Tree post office and Joshua Tree market.

We enter into the saloon and I ask Jade why she's getting her nails done today, right now and then I see the bar stools and the tables and I realize that the name must be some sort of joke that I don't understand.

We get a booth. We are the only ones inside save for the waitress.
I order the More-Meat-Than-You-Can-Eat special. It comes with beans and a piece of pineapple. Jade orders fish.

We play pool while we wait for our food. Jade notices a picture on the wall of Johnny Cash in front of the building with a short man. Jade asks the waitress / cook / owner / dishwasher when Johnny Cash was here and she says, "That little midget right there?" She points to the short man next to a younger version of Johnny. "He's a little weirdo. He's a pervert."

Jade and I both say, "Ah..."
The waitress is the one that tells us about the "wind turbans". Her eyes are bloodshot and her cleavage hangs loosely out of her shirt. She wears a beaded necklace and tells me about music festivals she's been to and ones she plans to go to. She tells us about people at the festivals who smoke pot and eat pot brownies and wear shirts made of hemp and "just chill".

She is in her mid 50s. I imagine she's probably been enjoying the revelatory side effects of acid since before I was born.
Before we leave we ask her what the one must-do thing is in Joshua Tree. She says, "Have you seen Joshua Tree?" (referring to the national forest) and we say, "Yep" and she says, "Okay then, you should check out Noah's Art. Leave here, go straight to the light, take a left, follow that to the little checkered house - it's half brick and half ceramic - I call it the checkered house - turn right in front of that. Go until you can't go no more. Take a left. Then take a right."

We say, "Who is Noah?" and she says, "He's this guy. He makes art - he MADE art - weird stuff".

We say, "Is he dead?" and she says, "Oh yes. He was in a wheelchair and died in a house fire. Couldn't get out. But his stuff still sits in the desert - all of his art. It just sits there and it's free. You just go walk around and look at it."

So we go.
.........and it IS weird stuff...
...sculptures made from old TV sets and bowling balls and mannequin legs and toilets and vacuum cleaners and bicycles and broken glass and tires.....
We are the only ones there, wondering through this alternate world; massive structures built from trash. Acres and acres of it. These photos don't quite grasp the extent of the bizarritude...

...well, maybe the next one does....
If Dahli had a love child with a garbage man - Noah was it.

This was the first half of our trip.

And the weirdness hasn't even reached full throttle yet.

Stay tuned.

Saturdays with Sherman

2010-04-03T16:06:00.000-07:00

Hangin' with my peeps.

Happy Easter!

Two Roads Converged

2010-03-26T09:48:00.000-07:00

Nine years ago today I met the most sinfully funny/handsome/dreamy man while shopping for ski pants for a date with another guy.

Five years ago today I married him.

And that has made all the difference.

Jacob Audio Part 2 | Los Angeles Newborn Photographer

2010-03-25T17:55:00.000-07:00

Daniel is the ultimate baby whisperer.

Jacob Audio | Los Angeles Newborn Photographer

2010-03-21T14:59:00.000-07:00

Hello, hello! Our friends Daniel and Pam just brought home their first child a mere eleven days ago and I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to photograph the little stud this morning. Below is a brief tease of things to come in the following week or so.

Now, without further ado, allow me to introduce to you..........JACOB AUDIO!!!!

Saturdays with Sherman

2010-03-20T11:25:00.000-07:00

I've hit the snooze button 27 times today.

Baby Announcements!

2010-03-15T22:25:00.000-07:00

Very excited to announce that we have teamed up with the amazing folks over at Minted to offer some super cute announcements for the new baby season! These cards are gorgeous! I want to have a baby JUST so I can use one of these as an announcement.

Take a look at some of my favorites...........

To score some of these beauties for yourself all you need to do is go to www.theletterbphotography.minted.com. There you can see all of my favorites as well as the rest of their stock.

Oh, and ordering online is super easy and they walk you step by step through the whole process. Trust me, it's mom tested.

Also, don't let the baby announcements have all the fun! There's also a really great collection of other cards ranging from Baby Showers, Save the Dates, Holiday Cards, Party Invites, We've Moved, the list is endless.

Dave and Mindy, the Wedding | Los Angeles Wedding Photographer

2010-03-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

Second shot with the amazing Meg Perotti.

Saturdays with Sherman

2010-03-06T19:04:00.000-08:00

Peek-a-boo. Ima-eat-you.

Dave and Mindy Wedding | Ranch del Cielo

2010-03-03T23:30:00.000-08:00

I found this wedding in the deep archives and realized I never got around to blogging it. More fun to come from this wedding in the days ahead, but for now............nothing says I love you like some good ol' fashioned cake smashing.

Second shot with the amazing Meg Perotti.

Saturdays with Sherman

2010-02-27T10:49:00.000-08:00

Where does depression hurt?

Want more fun in infertility?

2010-02-22T23:21:00.000-08:00

Bombing insurance companies, a $16,000.00 condom and the best little testimony this side of cancer.........

Saturdays with Sherman

2010-02-20T08:55:00.000-08:00

Rain always makes me depressed.....but then I look down at my smiling boots and think, "At least I'm not a pair of galoshes"...

Man's Best Friend.......

2010-02-18T22:46:00.000-08:00

........ruining man's best couch.

Brody | Sherman Oaks Baby Photographer

2010-02-17T20:25:00.000-08:00

As a rule, all babies should have irresistibly pinchable cheeks like these.

Saturdays with Sherman

2010-02-13T14:17:00.000-08:00

Roses are red, violets are blue, I hate Valentine's Day.

What the IVF?!

2010-02-11T15:17:00.000-08:00

So it's no secret that John had cancer(if you're currently whispering to yourself, "John had cancer?" you are either a.) new to this blog, b.) a total stranger to us or c.) so consumed in your own narcissism that you haven't bothered to look around at your hurting and suffering kinsfolk in years. Now please permit me to recommend that you visit here.) where you will find information, stories and pictures on all things cancerous. We reported the daily grind of that particular uphill battle in all it's gory detail and found that it helped to laugh at our problems. There is something theraputic about putting your greatest life hurdle in the spotlight, pointing at it and laughing. It shrinks it and takes away some of it's weapons.

And now we're going to do it again.

This time, however, the secret is not cancer but a little something, something called IVF (Invitro Fertilization....it basically means we get to create a Frankenstein baby in a petri dish, which, actually, is pretty frigging sweet). So, say it with us now...in-fer-TIL-lity. Yes, we said it, the I word. John is as sterile as a crayon and we are going to attempt (at the chagrin of most of our friends) to bring another Brookbank into this world. I don't know why but this "condition" seems to have a horrible stigma surrounding it - and I refuse to fall into that. What can I say, I'm stubborn that way.

That said, out of respect and compassion for our male minded (and squeamish female) readers who REALLY don't want to hear about this sort of business, we've decided to write about the whole debacle on a separate blog.

Introducing for the first time in glorious TechnoColo!

For those of you interested in the scoop on all things IVF you'll have to jump over to the not so secret, secret blog hideout. Just think of it like being in some sort of classified sorority (boys welcome) only instead of painting nails, having pillow fights and roasting smores, we'll be talking about speculums, egg retrieval and sperm count. YES!

But don't worry my little Letter B Blog reader's - your regularly scheduled programming will continue BUT, so you don't miss out on any of the scary and sometimes hairy details of IVF, I'll be posting the above header to let you know it's time to jump over to the other band wagon for a bit of light reading if you so choose.

Here's to more fun ahead! Better buckle up.

Brody | Sherman Oaks Baby Photographer

2010-02-07T17:13:00.000-08:00

A quick one from our afternoon with Brody. Look at that face!

Saturdays with Sherman

2010-02-06T14:22:00.000-08:00

Super Bowl Sundae

For My Mom on Her 52nd Birthday.

2010-01-31T11:03:00.000-08:00

Mama's Hands

I saw you hide your hands in line,
Behind that lady fair,
I noticed too, hers soft and white-
Immaculate from care.
But Ma, I say, it’s no disgrace
To have workin’ hands like you,
And had she lived the life you have,
She’d have hands just like it too.

But her hands have never hauled in wood,
Or worked in God’s good earth.
They’ve never felt the bitter cold,
Or chopped ice for waitin’ stock,
They’ve never doctored sick ones,
Or dressed a horse’s hock.
They’ve never pulled a hip-locked calf,
Or packed water to the barn.
They’ve probably never patched blue jeans,
Or had worn ol’socks to darn.

They’ve never touched a young’n,
Or caressed a fevered head,
With hands so gently folded,
All night beside his bed.

They’ve never scrubbed a kitchen floor,
Or done dishes every day.
They’ve never guided with those hands,
A child who’s lost the way.

They’ve never made a Christmas gift,
Shaped by a lovin’hand.
They’ve never peeled apples,
Nor vegetables they’ve canned.
They’ve never worn a blister,
Or had calluses to show,
For all they’ve done for others,
And the kindnesses I know.

So you see, my dearest Mama-
Yours are hands of love.
And I bet the Lord will notice
When he greets you from above.

Saturdays with Sherman

2010-01-30T21:49:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to me.

It's been 52 weeks since we began our online love affair. My only wish for this following year is world peace and I don't care who we have to kill to get it. I also hope that my fans double in size and my bank account triples thanks to my up and coming clothing line / action figure business.

Saturdays with Sherman

2010-01-23T11:05:00.001-08:00

Wow, this is a really great scarf, I - wait a minute...what's this made from? IS THIS SOCK MONKEY SKIN!!!!????

Clementine's Emotional Spectrum

2010-01-10T11:08:00.000-08:00

Saturdays with Sherman

2010-01-09T14:18:00.000-08:00

For some reason my face didn't develop in that fourth one and all I can keep thinking is "Seven days...."

Saturdays with Sherman

2010-01-02T16:00:00.000-08:00

Do you know why they say "domestic" house wife? It's because women are inherently wild animals that must be broken and trained.....just like monkeys.

Saturdays with Sherman

2009-12-26T14:59:00.000-08:00

I get up in the middle of the night, open all the presents, marvel at them, play with a few, wrap them back up and go back to bed feeling particularly naughty............so naughty.

Patrick and Molly

2009-12-25T19:49:00.000-08:00

Don't forget to start your week off wrong with Patrick and Molly over at the Man-child's blog!

Merry Christmas 2009!

2009-12-25T18:00:00.000-08:00

The Brookbanks
John, Jade, Kaidance and Clementine

Underdog and Frankenstein

2009-12-23T22:20:00.000-08:00

Clementine and I have been practicing this routine for quite a while now. At first we started by me picking her up and tossing her into a pool and then we moved onto a mattress and now we use a pile of leaves. Soon we plan to take our show off broadway.

Do you see her face? That is pure confidence. We've done this a million times and she has it locked up. DIVE, CLEMMY! DIVE!

ps. I look like Frankenstein as part of our "bit". My constipated face and rigid posture is intentional.

Sometimes I like to throw curve balls at her. Every good performer knows that he or she needs to be prepared for the unexpected.

For this exercise I decided to line the underside of the leaves with cinder blocks. This shot actually captures the exact moment that her front teeth shatter.

I lean forward and say, "What's that Clemenstein?"

All I can hear is her whispering, "My legs.....my legs.....somebody get me out....I can't move..."

*no Clementines were hurt in the making of this blog

Saturdays with Sherman

2009-12-19T18:37:00.000-08:00

Now, I gotta say, these leaves DO smell a little like dog pee. Has Clementine been "playing" over here?

Scott | Los Angeles Headshot Photographer

2009-12-13T21:45:00.000-08:00

Move over Ricky Gervaise, there's a new extra in town.

Morgan Part 2 | Los Angeles Children's Photographer

2009-12-11T15:25:00.000-08:00

HUGE. holiday. SALE.

2009-12-07T09:00:00.000-08:00

Morgan

2009-12-06T17:37:00.000-08:00

Red heads are my FAVORITE people!

Saturdays with Sherman

2009-12-05T17:58:00.000-08:00

Just dropping in to say, "Could you please untangle my wrist from these cables before another big wind carries me off?"

Deadline Extended!

2009-12-03T18:30:00.000-08:00

Praise the Lord! The deadline for Christmas cards has been extended to December 15th.

All cards are 5X7 (vertical or horizontal), printed on a beautiful matte watercolor art paper and include envelopes. All text is fully customizable (that means you can include a personal message).

• cards come in increments of 25 (you've got that many friends, right?)
• holiday cards are reserved for our clients only and MUST be a photo that we have taken for you
• cards are $2.00 per piece (how competitive!)

Contact us directly for ordering instructions. If you contact us indirectly there's a good chance we'll never receive the message.

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Rachel Part 2 | Los Angeles Headshot Photographer

2009-12-02T22:18:00.000-08:00

Saturdays with Sherman

2009-11-28T12:35:00.000-08:00

It even hurts when I smile.

Giving Thanks Brookbank Style

2009-11-26T14:29:00.000-08:00

Top Ten Things We Are Thankful For This Year:

1. Feelin' good in the neighborhood and bein' alive in '09

2. Benjamins and cash monies.

3. Indoor plumbing and 500 thread count toilet paper.

4. Apple computers but mostly just their commercials.

5. Photo cameras. Jade would be managing a liquor store without them.

6. Jade being off cigarettes for a year today! Yes, she's replaced her addiction with smearing Elmer's glue on her hands and then letting it dry and slowly peeling it off. It's very weird.

7. Cocker spaniels, especially ones that belong to us and have eyes that point in two different directions and bark at their own farts.

8. Dave Ramsey, or at least his book Total Money Makeover.

9. Robert Pattinson

10. www.badmovies.org

Chocolate Coconut No-Bake Cookies

2009-11-25T21:52:00.000-08:00

What the - where am I? I thought this was supposed to be a photo blog!

A photo blog, indeed. But it's MY blog and I'll post what I want to and right now I'm going to tell you about these delicious little treats called........they don't really HAVE a name. I call them chocolate coconut no-bake cookies...unless I'm talking to John then I call them "you know, the chocolate, coco-nut thingies. They're gooey and good".

They're simple to make and you can easily follow along at home.

So let's get started.

You will need:
4 tbsp. Cocoa
2 c. Sugar
Pinch salt
1/2 c. Milk
1/2 c. Butter
3 c. Oats
1/2 c. flaked Coconut
1/2 c. chopped Walnuts
1 tsp. Vanilla

To start, first melt the cocoa, sugar, salt, milk and butter together in a saucepan. Stir together and increase heat to bring to a soft boil - making sure all sugar is dissolved. And keep stirring - scorching the sugar WILL make these taste like.........well, scorched sugar.

Take off heat and add the the oats, coconut, walnuts and vanilla. Stir together until well mixed.

Next, take a spoonful of this delicious concoction and drop onto waxed paper. Wait an hour to let them harden and then scarf them down.

Please note: Consuming an entire batch of these by yourself (although delicious) will rot your teeth and add some serious chunks to your thighs. You have been warned.............

Enjoy!

Indulging Me

2009-11-24T19:12:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it's nice to just shoot for myself.

Thanks Rachel for going along with me for this.............

Saturdays with Sherman

2009-11-21T13:27:00.000-08:00

Muffins? No. I'm making monkey bread.

Rachel | Los Angeles Headshot Photographer

2009-11-19T18:44:00.000-08:00

It's almost unfair to be this good looking.

The Highways and GoodByeWays of America: Part 4

2009-11-18T15:20:00.001-08:00

Welcome to the last leg of the journey. The final segment.

For the past few years Jade and I have been discussing where we'd move if we left LA. On that list was Denver, Montana, Northern California and, until just a few months ago, Salt Lake City.

This place is like little LA. It's dirty, crowded and filled with crazies; the exchange rate is four Scientologists for every three Mormons, but it's constantly fluctuating.

We spent roughly five hours in the city, driving around, getting lost, angry and annoyed until we finally stumbled upon the Great Salt Sea.

We tried to park our car but were told that an Insane Clown Posse show was being held nearby and that we shouldn't leave our automobile unattended. We drove down the road, past legions of men in their thirties dressed as clowns, until we found a little inlet. The gates were shut and I BELIEVE it was closed but we crawled over the fence and the dogs under and we ran across the dried up salty sea bottom.

To get the dogs to do this we tell them both to look left. It's really funny because Clementine doesn't know her directions yet.

"LOOK LEFT, CLEMMY!"

Jade says jump and I say.....

We left The Great Salt Thing and headed south-west into the dark. When we awoke the next morning we found a dirt trail off the highway leading towards Blind Valley. I needed to know what it was so we followed the signs.

After only two minutes of driving it became obvious that this road was meant to be taken by nothing less than a Sherman Tank. There were potholes the size of tiny planets distributed fairly crookedly in front of us for as far as the eye could see. We finally came to a small plateau and decided we would never see Blind Valley, which was a little ironic. Instead we just crawled to the top of the hill and fed the dogs.

"Hey, Clemmy.....LOOK LEFT!"

We're able to take these perfectly framed pictures of ourselves in the middle of nowhere because I have ape length arms.

Did I say we walked to the top? Kaidance is out of shape....well....she's IN shape.....it's just a nice curvy shape.....regardless, we never leave a man behind.

Clementine faints from heat exhaustion in the Utah desert and Jade tries blowing in her ears. She says it's a trick she learned in pre-med.

Kaidance watches eagerly, intently, hoping, praying, for the death of The Small One.

Revitalized at last she becomes strangley cocky because she has conquered death. "Big deal," I say. "So what?" I say. "I've conquered death. I had cancer. You just passed out in the sun. Wear a hat next time."

Little Dog challenges me to a duel.

I teach her not to bite the hand that feeds and it lands me in the paddy wagon.

We drive on into Death Valley, California and we watch the temperature meter....temperature gauge....thermostat........it starts getting really hot and the thing in the car confirms it.

Clementine has another heatstroke / panic attack / fainting spell and I lift the lost lamb upon my shoulder.

I don't know. I really like this photo. It reminds me of.....someone.......who......

....someone who saved a lot of people......someone who was gifted with incredible abilities........

....oh yeah, DUH!

IT REMINDS ME OF BATMAN!!

We all run and play on the fine sand dunes....all except Clementine. She plays but she doesn't run. On occasion she does this thing where she just mysteriously hovers inches above the ground and floats from location to location while a strange buzzing noise emits from deep within her being.

...and again....still floating....levitating....

.....while I just throw my arms about all willy nilly as I often do....

WEEEEEEE!!!!! WILLY NILLY NELSON!!!!!

We drive on to a place that was nearly the death of us....

The Aloha Inn.

Room 119.

This place was bad, bad news. We thought it was a hotel - you know, the kind you rent a room at and stay in overnight. The kind of place weary traveler's might visit. No....no....not so much. This was a place for rehabilitating junkies and ex-cons. It was filled to the brim with people you'd cross the street to avoid. The sheets had blood on them and the room smelled like stale cigarettes.

There was a strange door in our room and I was certain Leatherface was going to come tearing out of it during the night with a sledgehammer and a bondage mask and we'd be done for.

This room, this night, was not enjoyable. It was SO bad that we opted to sleep in the bed, sans comforter, with all our clothes on.

Even Clementine, who licks the places dogs do pretty regularly seems to look pretty off put by the whole scenario.

What's that? A broom closet? The entrance to the pool supply closet? The janitor's storage space? No. That's our room. It's right next to the drained pool with the dark brown water at the bottom and the fire pit with the cigarette butts and used condoms in it.

Great ambience.

After the night of disgust we make our way towards home, back towards Los Angeles. Only four more hours....

I think Kaidance pretty much sums up three weeks worth of adventures with....

Saturdays with Sherman

2009-11-14T15:27:00.000-08:00

Now, make a fist and slowly ease it up underneath your chin.........

Now, just imagine you're weightless, in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by tiny little seahorses.

*CLICK*

That was the one. I think that's gonna come out really nice.

Gimme Gimme Moore, Gimme Moore

2009-11-09T18:12:00.000-08:00

We arrive at the park on a hot October afternoon. It's hot in October because we are in Pasadena. We park the car by an antique alley and walk down the street where we meet the Moore family sporting their brand new edition.

The husband is an airplane engineer of some sort which means it would take roughly 17.5 versions of myself to equal his singular intelligence. I try my best. I smile, shake his hand and try to stick to familiar territory; the weather, candy and telling time. "So," I say, "pretty hot day." He agrees with me while our respective wives go over clothing options for Baby. I offer him a piece of candy which he politely declines. "So...what time ya got?" I kindly ask. "bout quarter of two". I smile and start to think up questions regarding science when Jade says, "Let's get shootin!"

And we're off.

Saturdays with Sherman

2009-11-07T12:36:00.000-08:00

Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, N, A, N, A, select, start.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

2009-11-04T19:51:00.000-08:00

It's HOLIDAY SEASON!

And you know what that means! It's time to drag out those dusty stockings, steel yourself for some of Aunt Mildred's crusty fruitcake and start thinking about Christmas cards.

Did somebody say Christmas cards? How serendipitous. The Letter B Photography is proud to present our newest feature for a limited time only: CHRISTMAS CARDS!!!

Just take a look at some of these wonderful designs! Please feel free to ooohh and aaah at your computer monitor to your heart's desire.

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All cards are 5X7 (vertical or horizontal), printed on a beautiful matte watercolor art paper and include envelopes. All text is fully customizable.

• cards come in increments of 25
• holiday cards are reserved for our clients only and MUST be a photo that we have taken for you
• cards are $2.00 per piece

ORDER DEADLINE FOR ALL HOLIDAY CARDS IS DECEMBER 1ST!

Contact us directly for ordering instructions.

Shane and Jesca

2009-11-04T11:15:00.000-08:00

This amazing lady is Shane.....and she is probably one of the best people walking around this planet. Through a lot of hard work and a tremendous grass roots campaign she has founded Come Let's Dance : an incredible organization that is dedicated to empowering the Ugandan youth to be the social and economic change in their country.

Shane is truly leaving the world a better place than she found it.

She was in town for a couple of days and decided to pop by and have me grab a few promo shots for her upcoming speaking tour about aide in Uganda. Of course, while she was here I had to snag a few shots of her unbelievably gorgeous daughter Jesca. Every time I see her she gets more and more beautiful.

And no shoot is complete without a few of these two together.

Love this!

Solomon + Family | Los Angeles Family Photographer

2009-11-01T18:19:00.000-08:00

A quick glimpse at our shoot with Solomon today.

Saturdays with Sherman

2009-10-31T16:50:00.000-07:00

You know the routine....

The goods go in the bucket.

Happy Halloween!

The Highways and GoodByeWays of America: Part 3

2009-10-28T23:51:00.000-07:00

In 2007 I was introduced to the wonderful world of disc golf by my sister, seen below. It combines the skill and accuracy of normal golf with the lazy stroll and mindless drivel of regular frisbee. It's sort of like regular golf meets mini golf with discs.

I only play when I go back home because I've never had my own disc set but this year Theresa was kind and generous enough to buy Jade and I each one for my birthday. I have yet to take them out in California because I can't seem to find any (courts? greens? turfs?) around. If you know of one LET'S PLAY!

Below you can see me taking, what I like to call "My Frankenstein Stance". I stand very rigid and only bend my arm for maximum scoring possibilities.

Theresa is wearing a tye dye t-shirt. Tye dye is to disc golf as plaid is to regular golf.

This one could be on a playing card......wait, is the disc coming or going? Is Jade throwing or about to get hit?

After our five day stay in Sioux Falls, Jade and I made our way to Mitchell, which is, traditionally a simple one hour drive. However, thanks to the strange vortex that exists between these two towns the drive often feels as though it bends and stretches into a decent half day journey.

Just for kicks we decided to try to make it without the assistance of the interstate or highway. We stayed on dirt roads the entire way and what did we find? A pasture of meat eating cows. That one in the center was drooling, staring at me. His eyes were red and I think he had mad cow disease.

I could tell he was in a gang because he had a pierced ear.

Me preparing for the big shot put competition.

My mother-in-law LITERALLY squatting in a cucumber patch.

I used to have a motorcycle in LA but almost died on it. A guy in a speeding brown hunk of crap cut in front of me on the freeway and I slammed on both brakes, front and back. This was a mistake but, what can I say? I panicked. My bike wavered and began to tip at 70mph. I stuck my foot down and kicked the freeway and popped back up, my stomach in my throat, my mouth dry and my brain raging with anger. I sped up (brilliant) and pulled up next to the guy (moron) who almost killed me. I looked into his window (ie took my eyes off the road) pointed to my eyes and pointed to him. I don't really know what I was trying to say. Maybe "Watch the road" or maybe "I'm watching you". Whichever it was, he was probably really afraid. It doesn't matter how big of a nerd and how heroin thin you are. If you ride a motorcycle, nobody will mess with you.

Because of that incident I sent my bike packing back to South Dakota and now only ride it when I'm home.

You can see how happy I am, cruising down 7th on my way to Taco John's. Could things be better?

If I'm at an all you can eat buffet I have a very difficult time choosing what to eat. I don't want to just eat SOMEthing. I want to eat EVERYthing, even if I don't want it. For some reason I just feel as though I've purchased everything and now it is my job and my job alone to get my money's worth, which usually means shoving hideous amounts of food down my greedy throat until I'm sick.

The nacho buffet at M&H gas station is no exception. I fill the container up with cheese. I dump some salsa in. I put in black olives and onions. I dump in jalepenos and sauerkraut and shredded cheese on top of the nacho cheese. This concoction reeks. It smells like dirty feet and B.O. and has been dubbed with the name Dirty Nachos or B.O. Nachos. This is not a title I have personally given it. This is a label my friends and family members have given it over time of me bringing this overlooked delicacy into their presence.

My dad and I had our first joint birthday party, which was pretty interesting. He was turning 50 and I'd just turned 27, our birthdays being nine days apart. We had all of our friends and family over and just hung out all evening. It was great fun and there was cake and food and flies. There are always flies in South Dakota where there is food.

Look at my stupid little beard. It is so pathetic and weak. I am ashamed.

Look at my dad's mustache, so proud and vibrant, resting on his upper lip like a Sasquatch caterpillar.

Someday.....

This is Derrick. His grandparents live next door to my folks so we were forced to grow up together, often times playing "Guns". This is the game where boys have fake guns and pretend to shoot each other but end up spending most of their time arguing over if they were actually hit by the pretend bullet.

Derrick now has a beard and I hate him for it.

Someday we'll show them all.....

I call this one, "Rolling Thunder".

Look at Jade's flowing locks. I use to have flowing locks. That was before I began to bald. That was before.....when I was still happy and confident in my physical appearance.

That was....all.....before.....

My grandma has this fascination with dolls. It's something that happens to older, older women. It's just a part of growing up, I guess. First you hit puberty, then you get married, then you go through menopause, then you collect strange little dolls. I don't know. My mom seems to be hitting her Doll Phase early. She's got these creepy little things with devious grins hanging out about the house.

We left Mitchell after our five day sojourn and then I dropped Jade off at her home....

Our car was packed.....PACKED.....but I managed to find a little room for My Pet Monster. I cannot yet tell how the dogs are reacting to him. I can say, however, that when I got back in the car after grabbing some coffee, I'd found his fingers nibbled on a bit and clementine with some strange bright blue latex clinging to her lips.

She's a hateful vandal but is awful at espionage.

Sometimes I think she wants to be caught.

We were planning on driving from Billings, Montana down through Yellowstone. We drive an hour and a half south and get to the Yellowstone entrance and the ranger tells us that there's a fire or some fallen trees or ice or something and the roads are blocked and we can't get through. She tells us that we've got to drive ALL the way back to Livingston, which is about 45 minutes from Billings.

The morning is shot. We see everything twice.

Here is the Yellowstone entrance, apparently historic.

Here's what we saw the first time going through:

Here's what we saw the second time, after it started to snow:

Me looking like an angry old man trapped behind the wheel of his automobile.

Clementine looking depressed as per usual.

After driving the same thing twice we decided to just stop at the next town and spend the day relaxing at the hotel, maybe go out and grab a bite to eat, watch some TV, go to sleep early, read a book.

We pulled over in historic Butte, Montana, a wonderful and antiquated town. We saw this place:

Looks pretty nice. Looks pretty fancy. We call to get pricing, just for kicks. We figure it's way out of our price range and we figure they definitely don't take dogs. Truthfully, I don't know why we even bothered.

As it turns out, they were the cheapest hotel we spoke with and they DID take dogs.

Weird.

We walk inside of this elaborate lobby (think The Shining) and the lady gives us our key and tells us that JFK stayed here once. She tells us to pull in around back....

.....where we find....

......this place....

Okay....this makes a little more sense.....The Historic Hotel Finley where JFK stayed. Certainly they mean that he stayed in the nice part. They should really advertise this as the historic Hotel Ghetto where Lee Harvey Oswald probably LIVED.

Dogs welcome.

Sure, sure....why not? Drug addled maniacs welcome. Prison escapees welcome. Vagabonds welcome....

We introduce Clementine to snow.

It does nothing for her hair.

Room 160.

This is where the magic happens...

....Magic: The Gathering....

Alright my little noobians, just one more blog to go until our trip is over and then it's back to regularly scheduled programs!

Saturdays with Sherman

2009-10-24T16:32:00.000-07:00

Oh, you'll talk......they all talk.......one way or another you'll spill your guts, Pumpkin.

Why Does Custom Photography Cost More?

2009-10-23T22:19:00.000-07:00

Snagged this from the fine folks over at Professional Child Photographer.

The digital revolution has brought amazing flexibility and ability to control various factors during the image taking and making process. Photographers, the hobbyist, the professional, the amateur all benefit from this ability to manipulate pixels. However, with flexibility comes a price. Digital camera equipment is still considerably more expensive when you factor in its’ lifespan, the need for additional resources for processing those images, the time it takes to get a usable image and the effort that goes into creating a work of photographic art.

We all know that you can go to the local Walgreen’s and pay a $1.99 for a print - as a client you may wonder why you may pay upwards of $50, $70, $90 for a custom photography print. Photographers hear this statement every once in awhile:

“How in the world can you charge $60 for an 8×10 if it costs me less than $2 to print at x store?”

The truth of the matter is the answer to this question is multifaceted. Much of the cost of a photographic print produced by a professional photographer has a lot to do with the time, equipment costs, artistic vision and reputation of the photographer not to mention expertise and the usual costs of running a legitimate business.

The cost of TIME

Approaching it from a time standpoint, let’s imagine that you have hired a photographer who has work that you love. This photographer is traveling an hour to your destination to photograph your session. Here is an example of a time break down:

* session prep time (30 mins - 1 hour, includes equipment and back up equipment checks + vehicle checks)
* one hour travel time TO session
* 15-30 minutes prep time at client’s home
* 90 minutes-2 hours with client photographing subject
* one hour travel time FROM session
* 30-45 minutes uploading time from digital cards from camera to computer
* 30-45 minutes time spent backing up the original images
* 2-5 hours editing time to present you with a diverse gallery of edited images
* 1 hour prep time getting ready for ordering
* 2-3 hours time with client for ordering images
* 1 hour sorting through and checking order
* 30 minutes-1 hour prep time for delivery
* 30 minutes-1 hour getting order shipped
* any additional phone time or time needed for add on ordering, shipment issues, quality issues

In this example, the time spent per client can range from just under 13 hours to 19 hours - dependent on the photographer’s level of service. This is time dedicated only to ONE session. When the photographer charges $150-$300 for the photo shoot (aka SESSION FEE) you are not just paying for the two hours of session time, you are paying the photographer for 12-19 hours complete time for your session.The COSTS of Maintaining a Custom Photography Business:

Regarding equipment costs, a good quality professional camera with a selection of good optical quality lenses and digital storage mediums and computer set up can run from $10,000-$30,000 costs dependent on the photographer. Even though you can purchase a really good quality digital SLR for about $2100 there are still other costs related to photography. A good lens for portrait photography can run from $900 to $2500. A dependable computer system with software loaded for business and creative usage can run $2500 to $8000 dependent on the photographer.

Then come lab costs for specialty products. A good photographer knows the lab is integral to their success. Photography labs dedicated to the professional photographer often cost more and offer a range of products that allows the custom photographer to continually offer new, innovative products for you, the discerning client.

Discussion other costs of running a photography business could take awhile so we’ll skip many of the intricate details. There is of course much more: including costs of running the business, taxes, studio rental/mortgage if the photographer has ownership of a dedicated studio, vehicular costs, costs of advertising/marketing, costs of sample pieces that the photographer will likely bring to your session, etc.

APPLES to ORANGES to BANANAS:

Often times clients will mention to their photographer that X studio in the mall/department store only charges $19.99 for an 8×10 “sheet” or they may mention other things related to discount photography chains. The fact is those discount chains make their money on volume, not on customized 1:1 service. In February 2007 leased photography retail space by a rather well known discount department store that started in Arkansas closed down 500 of their portrait studios across the nation? The reason is simple, you cannot make money on 99¢ “professional” prints if you do not sell enough of them. Interestingly enough - those same studios that offer the loss leader packages often charge much much more for their a la carte pricing (as high as $40-50 for an 8×10). The whole reason the big department stores began offering portrait services in the first place was to get you, the savvy consumer, in through their door so that you could spend more money with them in other departments. Your “PORTRAITS” are considered the “loss leader”.

Going to a chain studio, as a consumer, you don’t have the benefit of 1:1 attention for 2 hours at your home where your child is allowed to explore, play and be comfortable in their home environment, nor do you get the experience that many custom photographers are known for or the lovely captures of natural expressions. You simply get a bare bones, “SAY CHEESE” experience. Keep this in mind when selecting a photographer.

REPUTATION/EXPERTISE of the PHOTOGRAPHER:

Being in demand, being well known for quality work, having a good reputation often costs time on the photographer’s part. Their expertise comes at a cost, their time learning their craft and learning the intricacies of lighting and the commitment put forth on their end to create a persona about their business that oozes professionalism. A great number of photographers go a very long time from the time that they purchase their first good camera to making money at the business of photography. Many photographers, when first starting out, rush in thinking that the business will be easily profitable in no time, how expensive could it be to get a camera and use it to create their dream? They often neglect to factor in the cost of business, the cost of equipment, software, back ups, etc..

Being of sound reputation, a better professional photographer knows that they must always reinvest in their business to create the reputation of being top notch. To create good work good equipment, reliable equipment, back up equipment is a necessity. The photographer who desires to be known as better/best/unparalelled reputation-wise knows that the most important thing they can do for their business is reliability and dependability. This is how reputations get built. Good work often is a wonderful side product of building that good reputation.

I hope this (lengthy) article helps shed some light on WHY a custom photographer is a better choice for your family’s memories. The photographs that are produced as a result of the professionalism and dedication that your photographer has will be cherished for a lifetime (or more) and great thought and consideration should be placed into hiring who is right for your family’s most precious investment.

Thanks to all our amazing clients for always appreciating our work and valuing it as much as we do and more.

A Gaggle of Geese, A Horde of Hamsters and A Struedel of Strands | Los Angeles Children's Photographer

2009-10-22T22:42:00.000-07:00

My best friend from high school is married and has two children. The kids' names are Connor and Deidra and they are special to me for a few different reasons.

First off, Connor, the little fella, was in our wedding. Yes, he was in utero but this is just a very tiny, minute detail that I am willing to overlook. And all the fetus in the house say, "Hey!"

Secondly, they belong to (are the property of) my good friend who asked me to be their godparent. That means when I am around them I continually quote Bible verses and slap their wrists with rulers.

And finally, I was present when Deidra made her grand entrance into the world via the womb. It was simultaneously the most amazing, disgusting, horrifying, horror movie thing I've ever seen. A word to the wise: you should not sit down to watch a birth unless you yourself have previously accomplished this "crowning" achievement.

While the man beast and I were cruising the countryside we stopped and crashed on Anna and (husband) Kenny's couch / air mattress and managed to snag a few photos of The Dynamic Duo during our stay.

I love this series. This is VERY Connor. I kept saying "KICK! KICK HIGHER! AGAIN! GREAT JOB! KICK AGAIN!" I love his little arms all aflail.

My favorite shot from the day. I imagine Deidra's inner monologue is playing something like, "Ohhhh, yo boots. Yo boots so biiiig" and Connor says, "What? These old things? Well....you know...size 2 1/2, so....."

Anna, thanks for letting us stay.
Kenny, thanks for letting John beat you at poker.
Connor, thanks for showing me your fossil collection.
Deidra, thanks for playing Hungry Hungry Hippos with us.

UNTIL NEXT TIME!!!........

Jesca | Los Angeles Headshot Photographer

2009-10-18T15:59:00.000-07:00

Just one for now from our shoot with Jesca.........I'm feeling particularly lazy on this day of rest.

Saturdays with Sherman

2009-10-17T16:14:00.000-07:00

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

The Highways and GoodByeWays of America: Part 2

2009-10-16T08:01:00.000-07:00

We wake up somewhere in Colorado. It's a bright day but there is a chill in the air. The town we slept in is just as dead as the night before. The streetlights change, green, yellow, red but no one crosses. There are no cars, no people.

The car door slams and I poke my groggy head up to see what all the fuss is. Glaring in at me through the back window is a monster cyclops with a giant black android's face. It clicks once, twice, three times and Clementine jumps up and stares out the window. Jade has her camera and Kaidance doesn't care.

I go back to sleep while Jade drives through the rest of the Rockies. It's like having a bed on wheels complete with engine and steering wheel and driver. "Oh, Chapman, take me to the Dakotas and make it snappy, beep-beep!"

We pull over at a place called Knotty Pine. Was that the name of the town or just the name of the store? I can't remember. There is a stack of logs out front under a sign that reads, "LOGS $5 A BUNDLE. SLIDE MONEY UNDER DOOR AFTER DARK". We are no longer in or around anything LA. Inside I order a cappuccino and pay three something for it. The lady gives me black coffee with a squirt of what I imagine breast milk to taste like. I almost buy a shirt that lists the top ten reasons why a hand gun is better than a woman but decide not to.

We arrive in Denver with three hours to kill before we need to be in Fort Collins so decide to visit the old haunts. The above photo with Clementeezy is taken at the park where I proposed to Jade before Clem was even a sparkle in her mother's droopy depressed eyes. Clemenstein has always wanted to be a rocket pilot so it was nice to be able to openly mock her by placing her on a child's toy and rocking it back and forth with my foot.

Clementine hates photos but is small enough to overpower and bend to your will. Kaidance is a snob. She stays in the background by the zebra because it too is from motherland Africa.

After the picture I kneel down next to Big Dog and say, "Sorry, Kaidance. It's just plastic. See - plastic." I knock on the zebra a couple times and reduce her to tears.

When we lived in Denver, Colfax St. (Ave?) was the part of town to STAY AWAY FROM. It was where people bought drugs and young girls disappeared into dark alleys and bad men lived. Jade's house was a mere two blocks off it, across the street from an elementary school and neighboring an abortion clinic. Some things are just too strange to make up.

I chose the more clinical, asbestos drenched dormitories to stay in. Second floor, last window on the left. Many wonderful and horrible things happened in that room, mostly horrible.

We arrive in Fort Collins and enjoy a nice game of bowling with out friends Jimmy and Malori. Have you ever noticed that all bowling alleys are different but sort of the same? They all seem to be trapped in some sort of 1970s time warp. Where can I buy the carpet they get? I'd love to put it in my bedroom.

Hungry for snacks, Clementine tries stealing milk from the baby's lips. I would scold her and tell her to stop if it wasn't so adorable.

But seriously, you should probably rinse out the baby's mouth.

Malori, Onyx, John. I don't grow a "beard" for any kind of fashion statement. It is compensation for my male pattern baldness. It is me putting my foot down and saying, "Enough is enough!" I am uncontrollably jealous of the baby's long, luscious locks. I want them.

After leaving Fort Collins the Big Dog sleeps in the car. We've reached the prairies and it all looks the same. She tires of watching the scenery.

Passing through a small town in Nebraska Jade shouts, "Stop! Stop! Turn around! Stop the car! Turn here! Turn right!" and I'm wondering if I've just ran over a family of bunnies or if she saw someone selling Chinese Finger Traps.

We pull around the block and she points, says, "Look. A building. Go get the dogs to sit up there". I comply because she IS the boss.

We drive on into Sioux City, Iowa. Kaidance is a noble beast. Majestic. Grand.

We stay the night in Sioux City at our friend's Anna and Kenny's place. This is their three year old daughter Deidre. She's having watermelon and coffee.

Then finally, the next day we blow into Destination: South Dakota and take a picture to prove it. Great Faces, Great Places.

Well.....great faces, right-o, Mr. Ed?

Jade's grandma has a golf cart at her place that I like to ride around on. I pull it into the driveway and do cookies or donuts or whatever you call them and I slam on the brakes and the gas and I bend the wheel and when I go inside Jade's mom tells me that I'm lucky Grandma didn't see me because she would be upset.

Well, well, well. Don't old people just always have something to complain about?

The farm or The Farm is located on a remote desert road about fifteen minutes outside of town. It's easy to get lost, not because of the complex nature of the scenery but because of the lack therof. It all starts to look the same. Directions sound something like this: go through town. Take a right at the second stopsign. Go over the big hill, you'll go down into a ditch. Take a right at the purple mailbox. There's flowers painted on it. You'll pass a pile of haybails about a mile up. Watch out for cows and dogs. We're on the left.

We go exploring in one of the fields on my birthday with the dogs and discover some marijuana. Well, not marijuana per se, but HEMP nonetheless. I guess Jade's great uncle grew the stuff during the war for rope and whatnot. That's what Jade's mom says.

Right.

I don't know how she explains all the poppy seeds and coca plants.

We approach a cornfield and disappear into it. A person could die in here.

Actually that's not true, they're only a mile by a mile long / wide. Only an idiot could die in here.

Chances of my survival: sources point to no.

Later that night my parents come to town and we all go bowling again. I LOVE bowling. I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT!

Afterwards we go to a Mexican restaurant called Casa Del Rey or Casa El Ray or something. I don't know. I only speak English and bits of Canadian. When the waitress brings out my birthday dessert and my family begins singing to me I point to the staring tables around us and make them sing along. It makes them all very uncomfortable.

What's next? Where do we go next? Mitchell? Montana? Death Valley? Stay tuned!

Onyx | Los Angeles Baby Photographer

2009-10-11T14:39:00.000-07:00

This is Onyx, chubby cheeked child of Malori and Jimmy.

This is Malori (mother to Onyx) and Jade (photographer) circa 1993. They both appear to be suffering from some sort of demented fashion sense. Jade wears, what basically amounts to, her grandmother's shawl, combat boots and some form of a makeshift mullet. Malori is dressed as though she's prepping for an all night biking marathon extravaganza. Cars will no doubt see her peddling from miles and miles away.

Truthfully, I find that if I stare at her pants and matching headband long enough the urge to vomit becomes almost overpowering.

Fast forward to circa 2009, Colorado. Onyx is handsome and adorable and debonair. He doesn't cry. He doesn't scream. He just laughs and laughs and laughs like a human Furby.

He is what some would call a "sucker baby". You see him and you hold him and you want to keep him. You think about putting him in your jacket or suitcase and trying to steal away with him but realize you can't because you're already over packed and you don't want to leave anything behind.

In lieu of this discovery you decide to have one of your own but are given one that screams and poops and wails. You try to give it back, you try to trade it in, but the number the hospital gave you is disconnected.

Before this day, before this moment, Onyx had never been in the grass. When we set him down he stared at it and poked it and fingered it and grabbed handfuls of it and smiled and I had to stop and wonder if having a child is experiencing life for a second time.

......

CHUBBY LEGS! CHUBBY WRISTS! CHUBBY BABY!

Saturdays with Sherman

2009-10-10T13:59:00.000-07:00

After three weeks of vacation it was time for Sherman to give up all the monkeying around and get back to work on his Monkey Business.

The Highways and GoodByeWays of America: Part 1

2009-10-09T12:32:00.000-07:00

Jade and I each choose 100 of our favorite songs and burn them across eight CDs. They are the soundtrack of our three week journey. Smashing Pumpkins, The Cure, Queen, Nirvana. Weezer's "Across the Sea" opens it up with Track 01, CD 01 as we leave our house at 5:45. The photo was actually taken one minute late.

We stop for Starbucks before we head out of town; something to awaken the senses for the long journey in front of us. We'd like to fly past Vegas before we bed down for the night. We let the dogs out to use the bathroom and two little butt bullets slip out of Clementine. Kaidance sprays liquid diarrhea all over the alley behind the connoisseur of coffee houses. It is so incredibly messy and sloppy that I don't even bother picking it up. Instead I just kick dirt over it and run away.

Are the first ten minutes of this trip an omen of things to come?

We leave LA just as the sun is setting. Goodbye you stinking city! Avua (that's French for goodbye) pollution! Seyonara traffic! Nothing can stop us now! Nothing! NOOOTHING!!!

We are stopped just over the California / Arizona border by the highway patrol. He tells us I'm driving 87 in a 75. He looks at me. He looks at my shaved head. He asks me if I'm in the military. I think about saying yes and trying to play the sympathy card. Just as I'm about to speak he takes a second glance at my "beard" and my girlish physique and says, "Nah, you're not in the military". My wife laughs at me. He asks to see my ID. It is South Dakota issued. He asks when I moved to LA and I tell him "oh, just recently" and he says, "when?" and I say, "uh.........2005?" and he tells me I need to update it. He lets me off with a warning.

He too had a shaved head and I like to think that we shared a moment of bonding through the curse that is Male Pattern Baldness. Men who suffer from this debilitating disease think of it like that, in all capital letters. They also think of it as a disease. A sickness.

We drive on.

We stop for the night in Kingsman, Arizona at a TA truck stop. We pull our Pontiac Vibe up next to the giant semis and I feel like a fifth grader showering with a bunch of old men at the YMCA; totally inadequate.

Before we go to sleep we let the dogs run around and go to the bathroom. Kaidance is still sick. She jumps back in the car after producing The Brown Waterfall (complete with foam) and when I crawl in I find her sitting on my pillow. She is staring at me and seems defiant about something. I shut my eyes and control my anger. I tell her to move. I only say it once and she does but it's too late. The deed is done. As she vacates my head space, a little brown starfish is revealed, stained, tattooed, imprinted on my pillow. The celestial Turd Star from the Hershey Squirt Galaxy. My pillow is dog toilet paper.

I frown and am upset but try hard not to laugh. Jade says it's okay. She picks up the pillow and flips it over. She says, "Look! Good as new!". Not quite. The pillow (the whole thing, not just the casing) needs to be thrown away. It needs to be burnt. It needs to be destroyed.

That night we share a pillow.

We go to sleep listening to the diesels hum quietly.

In the morning the car smells like dog farts and bad breath. We brush our teeth in the truck stop bathroom. We feed the dogs in the parking lot. We start driving at six am. Clementine doesn't really do mornings.

On the second day of our trip we arrive at Tuba City, an Indian Reservation in Arizona.

They sell sheep.

Tuba City was a complete bust. The food was gross. My grilled cheese was stale and took forty-five minutes to make. The fries tasted like they'd been cooked in boiling water. The ceiling at the restaurant was caving in. The cook had no teeth and we were accosted by a drunk man begging for money.

At the gas station I bought a bottle of milk that was a month old. When asked if I could replace it I found that all the milk in the gas station was a month old. We left Tuba City.

We drive through Arizona.

It is dry and hot and there is lots of road construction.

We don't take pictures of the road construction.

We arrive at Four Corners. This is where New Mexico, Colorado, Arizona and Utah all meet. For the small price of three dollars you can enter the unofficial park and stand at the unofficial spot where the four corners of the states unofficially meet.

We decide to take a picture of ourselves at the OFFICIAL New Mexico sign instead.

We drive down the road.

We take pictures at the OFFICIAL Colorado sign.

We drive on through Colorado and into The Rocky Mountains. The roads begin to narrow and begin to wind and eventually a storm sets in. We pull over in a ghost town and go to sleep while rain beats on the top of our car.

We've both seen horror movies that begin this way...

In the morning we are still alive. Jade gets up early and drives while I sleep. She takes photos while she drives while I sleep. We are still alive after Jade takes photos while driving.

STAY TUNED FOR PART 2 OF........4?

Cain and Cori | South Dakota Children's Photographer

2009-10-06T16:48:00.000-07:00

Cain and Cori. This devilish duo is straight outta home state South Dakota. When Cain was born this kid was one serious Chunk (capital C). I'm talkin' about a legitimately solid baby. An infant cinder block. But just look at him now! He's grown into all that muscle mass and will someday become a great warrior!

When The Cain wasn't posing it up for the camera he was scamming on the ladies. He'd slowly sauntered over to a few eight year olds playing on the swing set, his pants hanging down, exposing his Incredible Hulk underwear for romantic effect. He'd look them square in the eyes, sippy cup in hand and say, in his most charming voice, "Hi".

Cori was a little more timid - but being three months old will do that to you. Mainly she just rolled mindlessly around in the grass, her big blue eyes soaking in the sun before turning her oceanic peepers to you and glaring deep into your soul, reading your innermost secrets.

Cain and Cori. See you guys next year!

LaLaLa Lujan

2009-10-05T18:22:00.000-07:00

Remember the Lujan's?

We LOVE this family and will tell you all just how much through a photo montage and interpretive dance marathon, both coming soon....

For now though, here's a quick shot from our impromptu photo shoot with the parental figures and the always debonair, always charming, Onyx.

We're back!

2009-10-04T12:34:00.000-07:00

LA, Tuba City, Denver, Ft. Collins, Severance, Sioux City, Sioux Falls, Mitchell, Billings, Butte, Death Valley, LA.

You know when old people take out the photo album and show you their trip? We're about to spend the next few blogs doing just that.

Stay tuned.

T minus five seconds to take off!

T minus four - WAIT! I fogetted my seatbelt!

Gwavity bad!!!

MY FACE FEEL FUNNY!

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Saturdays with Sherman

2009-10-03T15:19:00.000-07:00

CORN Palace? Which way to the Banana Palace? JUST KIDDING! But seriously, has anyone seen my shirt?

Saturdays with Sherman

2009-09-19T16:24:00.000-07:00

Primate picked a patch of pickled pickles, how many pickled pickles did Primate pick?

Happy Birthday Johnny!

2009-09-17T05:42:00.000-07:00

Here's to hoping that 27 is a little bit less adventurous than 26.

Happy 27th birthday John!

Saturdays with Sherman

2009-09-12T20:48:00.000-07:00

I called shotgun!

We're Out!

2009-09-11T20:43:00.000-07:00

We'll be out of town on vacation until October 5 to celebrate John's 27th birthday.

Have a great couple of weeks and we'll return all calls and emails when we get back.

Emma | Los Angeles Baby Photographer

2009-09-09T17:15:00.000-07:00

Her name is Emma Grace. Emma for short. E if you want to be really brief. We wake her up from her nap when we arrive but she doesn't seem to mind. In fact, she seems quite excited for her big shoot. She's already selected her outfits and has a few locations in mind. She asks if we can start off with a few on the changing table and then maybe move down the street to the park. She says there's some really nice grass that she likes to lie in naked. We say sure and she asks us what we think about the tutu. "Too cutesy?" she asks. "No" we say. In fact, we think that for a four month old, a little tutu is just about too(too) perfect.

We arrive at the park and do some light tests. All is well. We tell Emma we are ready. She asks if this pose will work. We say yes. She says, "how about this one?" we say yes. She asks if she should grab her toes and we say yes, yes, that's all very good! She debates sucking on her thumb but then decides that's a bit too cliche and would like something a bit fresher for her bedroom.

Everything goes fine until the last few shots when she started to get hungry and then just fell asleep all of a sudden.

Sheesh......babies.......

Madelyn | Los Angeles Newborn Photographer

2009-09-08T23:15:00.000-07:00

This adorable little thing is Madelyn. She is only 1 and 1/2 weeks old. I think it's funny that there is a point in time when you can count your age on all your fingers and none of your toes. I also think it's funny that Madelyn and I both count our ages in fractions. This week I just turned 25 16/42.

I joke with John that the more babies I shoot - uh....PHOTOGRAPH - the better off he is because it cools down my Mommy Fever. However, lately it seems to be aggravating my itch. When I see new babies I want to smell them. I want to hold them. I want to bury my face in their soft hair. In comes Madelyn. I restrain myself from squealing "Oooooooh! BAAAABY!!!" by gripping my camera strap. She is the youngest human I have shot (photographed) to date and upon seeing her itty witty teeny tiny wittle body (at a whopping 5 lbs) with her wittle hands and cute wittle feet and translucent eyebrows I feel my womb knocking with hearty authority.

In the past, whenever John and I've talked about kids, I've always been instantly put off with the idea; screaming, pooping, peeing, vomiting, suckling pinkies. They were cute but even cuter to give back. That said, the idea is now starting to hold a bit more merit than before. So, thanks Madelyn and Madelyn's mom for jump starting us down a (hopefully) awesome new journey of screaming, pooping, peeing and vomiting.

Emma | Los Angeles Baby Photographer

2009-09-05T18:30:00.000-07:00

A quick peek from our afternoon with Miss E.

She has the best baby's room I have ever seen.
Los Angeles Baby Photographer

Saturdays with Sherman

2009-09-05T11:22:00.000-07:00

"Well, Sherm", Kaidance stated, "I think this is about as brown as I get".